The Dreaded C-Word…

… criticism.

It’s very hard to take, isn’t it?

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t like criticism. I never have. It’s awkward and embarrassing.

But it’s necessary.

The trick to taking criticism like a mature adult is to realize the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. If someone’s critique makes you feel stupid or inadequate, if it doesn’t help you understand what you did wrong and doesn’t help you improve, then it is destructive.

Girls, criticism that makes you feel like you CAN’T do something is destructive. Don’t listen to it.

Constructive criticism, on the other hand, should empower you. It may be embarrassing and nerve-wracking. It may make you sad or upset, or hurt your feelings. These reactions are typical. No one likes to be told they made a mistake- it hurts our pride. If we spent a long time on something and someone tells us how to improve it, that can be painful to hear. I’ve cried after many a critique from pure disappointment.

But those are our reactions to being wrong. How we react to being wrong is another talk altogether.

The criticism itself should NOT make you feel bad about yourself. It should be a tool, a test you can use to improve your work. It should not only point out the mistake, but inform you on how to improve. Constructive criticism is advice. It is helpful advice that is given to you in an attempt to help you be the best you can be.

I’ve been given both kinds of criticism. I’m very familiar with the feelings associated with each. And no matter how embarrassing and upsetting constructive criticism can get, it always brings a sense of hope. Hope for improvement.

So here’s my advice- take criticism. Invite it in. Look at how it makes you feel. Do you feel like you know how to improve? Has it found fault with your work or with you? Ignore anything that makes you feel like less of a person. Ignore anything that makes you feel as though YOU are the mistake. However, if it is helpful, if you can move forward from it, take it. Listen to it. Cherish it.

We are lucky we can learn from our mistakes. It makes us all more interesting and skilled human beings.